My business isn't exactly seasonal, but it's been crazy how much busier I've been since the weather has improved.

It's really amazing how people's moods change when the weather is nicer.  Clients have been calling with requests you couldn't have talked them into months ago, even if you'd held their kids to ransom.

Now would be a good time to hire someone, but with industrial relations laws in flux I'd be stupid to put some gumbies on right now.  I can't imagine how many more Aussie businesses will be acting the same way.

Of course that wouldn't impact on hiring high-level people, but I can't even contemplate investing the time and money to train a gumby or two, only to find out six months later that I have to keep them regardless of how they turn out.

The last federal election was essentially a referendum on industrial reform in Australia.  The Liberal Party attempted to fix a centurty and a half of lazy work culture epitomized by the phrase "she'll be right, mate".

Until these changes were passed, it was notoriously difficult to fire full-time employees, and wages in many sectors were normalised and inflexible.  Since the implementation of Work Choices, employers have been better able to maintain a high-quality workforce which is better matched to productivity goals.

You see, until this was implemented, workarounds were required to pay workers according to their output, meaning that most employers simply chose not to.  Everyone with the same job title was paid pretty much the same wage, regardless of their ability or desire to produce.

While uniformity is nice from a socialist point of view, a normalised pay scale doesn't allow you to reward those who generate higher output, nor does it allow you to cater to workers whose lives are in flux.  To compensate good workers, employers created elaborate bonus systems (which can't be factored into the employee's next home loan application) instead of just raising their salary.  Conversely, employers were forced to hound less motivated employees and make their life a living hell in order to squeeze their salary's worth out of them.

Individual workplace agreements allow more flexibility from everyone's point of view.  There's no need to look for a reason to fire someone just because their productivity is low.  If they're more comfortable at a relaxed pace, or if their life is impeding their ability to focus, then why not let them work that way?  Of course, their pay would be commensurate with their output, but there's no injustice there at all.  In fact, all it does is get their boss off their back.  Making two dozen personal calls a day is no longer a big issue as long as the worker is matching the employer's expected results.

Forcing everyone to fit the same mould, in a society with highly variable lifestyles, belief systems and family pressures is a long way from ideal.  This needs to be recognised by the industrial relations system, rather than ignored in lieu of some arbitrarily prescribed notion of fairness and baseline uniformity.

Unfortunately Australian workplace culture has laziness interwoven deeply into its fibre.  Everyone who visits this country always praises us for being so laid back and carefree, and that's an attitude we're often quite happy to take to work as well.  As evidenced by the backlash at Work Choices, Australian workers have a keen understanding of their own shortcomings.  There was mass panic at the introduction of workplace reform only because we know we've been getting away with doing as little as possible at work for far too long.

High-output diligent workers know their value to a company.  When someone says "lazy people are going to be paid less" their gut-reaction is "about damned time".  As a nation our overwhelming reaction was "holy shit, I'm boned".  That alone suggests that workplace reform was well overdue.

It was always going to be unpopular, but the union propaganda made it worse.  To protect their own role, unions exaggerated the reach of the new reforms, which when actually implemented by some unscrupulous business owners, resulted in legal action against them.

Though clearly some adjustment was required, it became clear to those who were interested enough to research beyond the television advertising campaigns, that Work Choices was not the end of the world that unions and the Labor party were claiming it to be.

Of course nobody ever saw any of the good news, just actors pretending to lose their jobs on TV.

If you're a good worker, why would your boss fire you?  Who would he then replace you with?  Wouldn't he have to fire them too?  Doesn't this mean he's wasting time and money on hiring and training? -- This basic concept seemed to elude the blue collar populace.  Coupled with unending propaganda, it became clear that no facts, explanations or reasoning would ever change the minds of the drones whose laid back slow-motion work day was at risk.

Enter Kevin Rudd, the champion of the Aussie way of life which has for so long impeded our progress on the world stage.  With a simple promise to roll-back Work Choices, he won the favour of every uninterested and unproductive half-arsed employee in the country, whose home is being paid off in-part by the small percentage of driven and focused people who are unencumbered by notions of entitlement.  Hooray for the lowest common denominator, for their vote counts as much as anyone else's, unlike their contribution to society.

Of course the voters want to be able to have their cake and eat it too.  Leadership is about making difficult and unpopular decisions and standing by them.  Two politicians I respect for having done that, are coincidentally both Liberals.  John Howard was given his marching orders over Work Choices, while Jeff Kennett was booted over school consolidation in Victoria.  Both were badly needed but highly unpopular decisions.

I won't fault Rudd for campaigning on the Work Choices issue, but I'll mourn this country's lost opportunities for advancement if he hobbles the industrial relations system in a way which impacts on people's ability to forge their own lifestyle.  I'll be pissed off if his changes shackle small business to their lazy workers once again.

If he isn't smart enough to recognise how valuable reform was, then my vote for him will have been misplaced.  I sincerely hope that his changes to Work Choices will be largely cosmetic.  The morons who voted for him on that basis alone wouldn't know the difference anyway.

Wow, it's been quite a week or so. Bear with me while I catch up.

Today, Kevin Rudd was sworn in as the 26th Prime Minister of Australia, after leading the Labor Party to a convincing victory in this federal election.

The Liberal Campaign

In my opinion, the Liberal Party never had a chance, and I'm convinced they were fully aware of that, which goes some way toward explaining their incredibly odd campaign strategy.

Rather than retire prior to the election John Howard announced his candidacy but made it abundantly clear that he'd retire shortly after taking office, to make way for the long forsaken yet oddly anointed Peter Costello.

As was made very clear by the Labor Party in their political propaganda, voters may have seen value in the Howard government for the last eleven years, but a vote for the Liberal Party was now a vote for Peter Costello who is completely devoid of charisma. After listening to Costello whine for years about being owed a leadership handover, Australia was never going to make him Prime Minister.

I find it quite odd that the party placed loyalty to him above being returned to office. The only explanation I have is that, like the rest of us, they probably had no expectation of being able to win this one.

Bennelong Time (Since I Rock and Rolled)

Howard's reluctance to retire in advance of the election also resulted in the loss of his home seat of Bennelong to the bright and chirpy Maxine McKew. An incumbent Prime Minister losing his home seat has only ever happened once before in Aussie politics. I bet that feels like a kick to the groin.

Pictured above with sugar daddy Kevin Rudd, Maxine is a high-calibre politician with intelligence and zeal who doesn't yet know the meaning of self-interest. Politicians like that are quite rare, and I hope her close working relationship with Rudd will help temper some of the smarmy arrogance we've seen from him. I think we've had quite enough of that from Howard for the last decade or so.

But what of our new overlord? Is he going to save us from the poverty prosperity and oppression opportunity we've had to endure under Howard? For all his personal and ideological flaws, Howard has overseen a time of good fortune and wealth for Australia. A time which has put more money into Aussie pockets, which is far more meaningful to most of us than his stance on refugees, his ugly eyebrows, or some intangible republican movement.

Is 'Kevin07' All Show and No Substance?

Over the last eleven years the Labor Party has been telling us the sky is falling, particularly with regard to the GST and Work Choices, but despite all the negativity, big ticket items are much cheaper making the 10% increase in price on small-ticket stuff a wash. Salaries have increased dramatically, and all the talk of crazy employers going on a firing rampage and extorting their workers has turned out to be complete crap.

Nevertheless, the propaganda got them elected and now Rudd is large and in charge, but what does that actually mean? He's an extremely intelligent and articulate man -- qualities I've longed for in a Prime Minister -- but I'm left wondering how the series of grand gestures he's promised will actually help anyone.

His first Prime Ministerial act was to ratify the Kyoto Protocol. A largely symbolic gesture, given Australia's size and the extreme emissions offset of existing logging bans. He's promised $500 towards laptops for students, but has yet to explain how giving kids their own unsupervised facebook platform in their bedroom is going to improve their education. He's charged with rolling back Work Choices, but to what extent he's prepared to do that is unclear.

It's my sincere hope that this is his most symbolic gesture of all. With any luck, he'll realise that he can simply rename it and keep reaping the economic benefits of increased workplace flexibility.

I suppose time will tell if voting for him was a good idea or not, however I'll always take solace in not having voted for Costello.

The 'Mr Sheen' Factor

They say that there's never more than 5% difference between one government and another. Looking at these two, it's hard to fathom even that much. For the last eleven years we've had a Prime Minister who looks like the logo of a brand of furniture polish, and we've just elected another one.

Mr Sheen has been part of Australian households since the 1950s. Perhaps it's the reliability and success of that brand which makes us trust people with these features. Perhaps there's a vile of sperm that ASIO keeps locked away, to breed true-blue Australian politicians, and Mr Sheen is just a covert government front designed to engender acceptance of the fruits of their breeding program.

I don't know, but one thing's for sure -- they look like brothers.

Honestly, I didn't expect I'd be able to buy a 5c flight.  People like me never manage to get deals like that because we simply don't have enough zeal, or enough kids to keep hitting refresh, but I did expect it to be handled a little better on Jetstar's part.

The deal was offered only to members of their mailing list, but instead of mailing out the coupon link days in advance, they only emailed members once the offer was actually active on the website.  The floodgates opened at 19:00, but like many, I didn't receive the link until about an hour later.

It simply took too long to send them out, and was hence prioritised by whatever system the mailout software was using, be it alphabetical or according to member number.  It certainly wasn't first-come, first-served, given that the proper URL was not available to everyone at the same time.

The clever webmasters at Jetstar also didn't bother to put in a limit on the maximum number of users until about half-way through the sale.  This resulted in lengthy and annoying timeouts until one of them wised up and flicked the switch which redirected excess connections to a holding page, which I've archived for posterity.

Of course after that, it was a case of wearing down your mouse button and causing yourself RSI of the index finger trying to go beyond that holding page and into the site.

Unfortunately an active session didn't count for anything, as once you were able to select your destination, it was still possible to be thrown back out to the holding page during any one of the multiple stages of booking your flight.

To have hope of actually booking, you had to fill in the same form repeatedly, only to be rejected because someone else stole your connection while you were picking from drop-down boxes.

I'm surprised any tickets were sold at all... though with individuals being able to purchase four tickets at a time, there were really only a thousand or so lucky folks who managed to get through despite five thousand tickets being available.

As expected, it was a waste of time, but it could have been much less so.  If people were notified of the link in advance, and were able to complete a sale once getting through, it would have lasted far less than three refresh-filled frustrating hours.

Nevertheless, a few of my friends turned it into a teleconference event, basically bitching at each other on a conference call, and boasting about getting through even though they were probably just downloading porn.

Congratulations to those who managed to get tickets.  I imagine most of them were the ones who were emailed shortly after 7pm, as opposed to those mailed around 8.

Not long ago, I ranted about how five cent coins are useless.  Today, budget airline Jetstar has responded with a hearty 'fuck you'.  That's right folks, this was all orchestrated to discredit me... or maybe not.

From 19:00 to 23:59 (that's 7pm to 11:59pm) tonight, Jetstar will be offering 5,000 all-inclusive flights to a limited number of destinations for only five cents each.  The price includes tax and is offered on seven of Jetstar's popular domestic routes.

There are six destinations available from the three largest cities.  You can fly to the Gold Coast ex Sydney, to Hobart, Launceston and Newcastle ex Melbourne, and Mackay, Rockhampton and Newcastle ex Brisbane.  They're also only available on certain days between May 3 and June 3, and from July 29 to September 9 of next year.

Intended to overshadow the upcoming Australian launch of competitor Tiger Airways and to reward previous internet purchasers, the promotion is available only to members of Jetstar's email registration program.  It's unclear whether you're able to register now and still be eligible to buy at this price.

Either way, there's going to be a huge rush on Jetstar's servers this evening.  When they first launched in 2003, their website was rendered useless for days as people tried to order the first flights in this country cheaper than a taxi fare.  I expect response will be similar this time around, so if you're going to try for a ticket, you'd better try at seven on the dot.