My spanking new Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM finally arrived from the USA last week, and at merely USD$50 more than the regular American price, fully shipped and insured.  Thanks in part to an instant cashback from Canon, and a little shifty importing (thanks Linda).

So far, I've only been out shooting twice, and even then only for a short time.  I find there's a bit of a learning curve with Image Stabilisation, but I absolutely love the lens and I'm glad I paid for IS despite the slight (but noticable) drop in sharpness.  I can already tell it's going to leave me with a much higher percentage of usable shots, and the lacking sharpness is easily taken care of in Photoshop.

Needless to say, all the rave reviews are true, I just wish I could get an extra 100mm in the zoom range at f/2.8, for the weight... oh, and a pony.

Speaking of weight, it's as heavy as a bag full of rocks, but surprisingly comfortable to use with the tripod ring removed.  Unfortunately it's impossible to use one-handed unless supported by a monopod, meaning that particularly precarious shooting positions which normally require gripping something with one hand for safety, are now... less safe.  However, the length of the lens allows for some creative gripping options when using the environment to steady yourself, which is a huge plus for low-light work.

I'm really looking forward to doing something more serious with my new camera and lens, but in the mean time I believe it's customary to post a few cliché test shots of the 'getting to know you' phase.

I took my mother down to Dromana for lunch, yesterday.  She was running a bit late, so say hello to her hibiscus.

Here's the obligatory but incredibly hackneyed shot of the cappuccino after lunch.

Finally, here's a quick portrait of my mother, with classic Eastern European moustache and all.

Dromana is a quaint little town with a great 'fish n chip' joint (the green one) and a couple of nice cafés.  I thorougly recommend a visit next time you're 50 or 60 kilometers out of Melbourne in the wrong direction.

Anyway, this ends the trite shots of my first brief outing with my new lens.  With any luck I'll get some time to shoot more of what I really enjoy, soon. Wish me good light ;)

Right now, and for a limited time only, if you visit Google Translate and translate a sentence with Heath Ledger's name in it from English to Spanish, you'll get a result referring to the much maligned Tom Cruise.

So, do the españophones really think that Heath Ledger is a scary whacked out scientologist with control issues?  Maybe, but that doesn't really explain the results.

The concept of Google Bombs isn't new.  Google has been used many times to support the humour of internet culture -- perhaps most famously back in 2003 when the search results for "french military victories" were corrupted to return websites on "french military defeats".

Google has tended to act pretty swiftly to correct the aberrant data, and has implemented a number of changes to their algorithm which are supposed to make faking the search results more difficult, but that just encourages kids to think laterally for their gags.

This latest effort uses the 'suggest a better translation' link, pictured above on the translation page, to submit a translation for Heath's name over and over, until the system accepts it as a high-quality suggestion, supposedly demanded by many legitimate users of their translation service.

These 'bombs' are absolutely hilarious, but they also expose just how easy it is to change search results to whatever you desire.  The funny bombs are obvious and easily corrected, but what about very subtle information doctoring?  If you don't notice, you can't fix it can you?

Google wields unbelievable power to affect the perception of truth for a colossal audience.  It's not the only search engine, but it is the most used, and the most advanced.  If it can be manipulated for kicks, then so can evey other engine.  It also stands to reason that if kids are doing it for the laughs, there are corporations and governments doing it for much less humourous reasons.

Anyway, I couldn't resist making a morph for this post, just because morphing is so damned cool.   (continued...)

Over the last few years, Australia's Nine Network, one of only 3 major commercial free-to-air networks has become all but irrelevant to audiences under 40.  With a stellar program lineup involving Eddie McGuire upon Eddie McGuire, and one mind-numbing game show after another, it has gone from the top-rating network, to ranking similarly to government-owned multi-cultural station SBS, where a lot of the content is subtitled.

In 2007 Nine hit rock-bottom when it lost its contract with CBS.  This resulted in the abrupt cancellation of several shows and Letterman making the switch from Nine to Network Ten.  Fortunately for Letterman fans this also resulted in an upgrade to high-definition for the late-night talk-show, which was being broadcast in upscaled bootleg 4:3 NTSC format on Nine, even years after the show stepped up its format in the US.

Despite the CSI franchise being CBS shows, Nine managed to retain the rights because their distribution contract is with the production company, not the network.  If not for that, Nine might have become immediately and completely unwatchable.

Fast-forward a year later and Nine is trying to recover some ground with fresh promos for its new-season lineup.  Featuring heavily are venerable favourites like the three CSIs, and less interesting shows like Cold Case and Without a Trace coupled with locally-produced zombie droolfests like Sea Patrol and McLeod's Daughters -- a show even my 68 year old mother is bored by.

Nine is also promoting a couple of new additions to the schedule, but it remains to be seen how successful they'll become.

Cashmere Mafia

The popularity of Sex and the City has spawned what at first glance seems to be a severely hackneyed spinoff called Cashmere Mafia.  I hope that it turns into something watchable for the girls, but I'm not holding my breath.  Despite rather enjoying Lucy Liu, I don't hold out too much hope.  They say not to judge a book by its cover, but that's because authors aren't graphic designers.  I'm quite secure in judging a book by its title though, and this title (along with the repulsive redhead) makes me want to avoid the pilot episode - not a good sign.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

As a die-hard science fiction fan, I'm holding out a lot of hope for The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  Whilst the last couple of terminator movies haven't been particularly brilliant from a sci-fi lovers point of view, the story offers incredible detail and potential.

I know better than to hold my breath, though.  So many science-fiction shows have turned out to be incredibly disappointing, because executives insist on ignoring the sci-fi for bullshit plotless action. Nevertheless, the promos look really interesting and will have me watching a show on Nine for the first time in a year.

Sci-fi junkies will remember Summer Glau from her portrayal of a psychotic killing machine in Firefly.  While she was definitely convincing as an unstable reprogrammed supersoldier, I've found her kind of difficult to watch in other roles such as the young soldier's wife she played in The Unit.  She has annoying facial musculature which is more apparent when she's not in an exaggerated character.

Having said that, she's back to playing a machine (more literally this time) so perhaps I won't notice so much.

The tagline to this show is quite apt for all parties involved.  "Hope is Unleashed" indeed for the Nine Network, as they could badly use a hit outside of the CSI franchise, and my hopes have been unleashed, for a sci-fi show worth watching.  With any luck it won't be cancelled in the first season, or turn out to be a complete waste of time like Bionic Woman.

The best thing to happen this year will happen towards the end of it.  George W Bush will finally pull a pension and fuck the hell off.

During his campaign for re-election, I vowed I wouldn't bring children into a world which would allow him to hold office twice, but back then I couldn't imagine that conservative America would consider a woman president all that seriously, let alone a youthful and charitable black democrat with a mind of his own.

So, apparently there are rays of light shining through this eight-year nuclear winter we've nicknamed 'dubya'.  As we stand looking over the devastation, beaten and bloody, the hollywood disaster movie cliché comes to mind.

We shall rebuild, mankind will prevail.

I guess we'll see how long it takes for the USA to resume resembling the values they espouse and would ascribe to others.

There are still many Americans who think the rest of the world should mind its own business and stop criticising US politics, despite the vast number of American troops currently outside US territories.  These are the same people who are fond of referring to their president as 'the leader of the free world'.

Well, as a citizen of that free world, I'm inclined to think that we're so pissy because unlike you, we don't get a vote.  The US world leadership isn't a democratically elected one, as clearly US citizens are not an adequate representation of global values.

Give the rest of us even 1% of a US vote and we'll do a much better job of picking the leader of the free world than you've done.

With that in mind, and partly inspired by a post on Wally's site, I have put together a wishlist for our new leaders.

Live as you would have us live.

We like American values, like justice, fairness, freedom and all that stuff about huddled masses represented by the Statue of Liberty.  How about you start behaving like these are your values sometime soon.  If you want us to believe that you're doing good in the world, then at least respect the same values you're prescribing to others.

Please, for fuck's sake stop pretending you're the only nation on earth to have such values, or that you're the best available example of them.

Stop ignoring or subverting your constitution and abolish concentration camps like Guantanamo which are only legal because they're not technically on US soil.  Convenient little caveats which allow you to piss on your own values make it impossible for us to respect you.

Reel in the Patriot act.  It's unconstitutional and does nothing to convince us that you're sewing freedom.  Subjugating your own citizens to a very close facsimile of martial law is not the best way to convey your message of good will.  Why should anyone trust you, when you're so easily inclined to treat your own citizens like second-class crap?

If you can't stop policing the world, then at least do it properly.

Being the world's superhero is a romantic notion, but not an achievable one -- especially given that not everyone shares your vision of the perfect society.  It would be better if you didn't try to police the globe, but if you absolutely can't stop being Evangelical Christian missionaries then at least make yourselves accountable for your actions.

Sign the relevant UN accords allowing your leaders to be tried for war crimes.  If you'd done that we wouldn't be in this mess, and Bush would be in the Hague.  Police without accountability are sanctioned criminals, and an invasion not approved by the UN is an illegal act of war.  Tsk tsk.

If your tendency is to complain that the UN is ineffectual, then be a superhero and make it effective by giving it more power -- even over yourselves.

Cease this idiocy called 'proactive foreign policy'.  You make movies like the Minority Report which ridicule the concept of punishment for a crime that has not yet occured, yet you're willing to lay down many thousands of lives in the name of proactive regime change... regimes you've often been instrumental in installing in the first place.  It's wrong, and the economic benefit isn't worth it, stop being bullies.

Please recognise that nowhere in the world has change happened without revolution -- not even in your country.

Commit to the cost of your public relations.  It's hard to believe that your motives for war are altruistic when the cost of bullets is more significant than the deed.  If you've decided not to keep to yourselves, then do the right thing by installing the society desired by those you've 'liberated'.  Are you really sewing freedom, or are you conquering under the guise of altruism?

Know that the time for humble retreat passes the minute you trample a nation's sovreignty.  At that point you have to commit to doing all that nice stuff you promised, not just what'll get you an agreeable government and bargain oil contracts.  I know its a big ask, but maybe that'll make you think twice about sticking your nose in next time.

Help those who really need it.

Since you're not going to mind your own business then lets agree that Iraq was a mistake, but Afghanistan wasn't.  There are lots of countries that need your help if you're so willing to give it.  Altruism is about there being nothing in it for you, apart from the gratitude of those you've helped.

The more you beat your chests about how you've liberated the Iraqis, the more I think about what you didn't do in Somalia (amongst other places).  If you 'liberated' people based on their standard of living your position would be far more defensible.  Unfortunately, that clearly isn't the formula being employed.  So how exactly are you prioritising the 'help' you give, or are you really just looking to help yourselves to a bargain on natural resources?

Where's the roadmap for global regime change, sorted by human rights violations and poverty?  Where is this to-do list of global houskeeping?  Why, if you're such believers in freedom and human rights, would you offer to remove North Korea from the 'Axis of Evil' if they dismantled their nuclear program?

Can nukes be traded for human rights?  Does having them keep you from setting up a McDonalds in Pyongyang? If so, then why is it such a shock that everyone wants them?

It's not enough to just renounce these things or blame republican voters.  That idiot John Mayer has the wrong idea.  The longer you wait for the world to change, the more normal this lunacy becomes.  Action and accountability are required, and I hope we see some of that from now on.  It really boils my noodle to see such a big proportion of Americans understanding and acknowledging the unspeakable horror of their government's actions without then insisting that they be punished for it.

American citizens just resigning themselves to inaction and feeling like hostages to their own government is a very serious warning to those who think such a force offers freedom.

The world needs to see evidence that American society is indeed worth disseminating.  A good way for Americans to show us that would be to listen to our grievances and keep just a couple of them in mind when heading to the polling booths.  If that's too much to ask, we'll understand, but then at least keep your dogs from pissing on our lawns.

The holiday season is traditionally my busiest, and this has been no exception.  While everyone else is off enjoying the summer, I've been hanging out in datacenters, or mapping out new networks, so this is when my blogging takes its biggest hit.

Although I'm a little late in posting my greeting for the new year, I hope you'll all join me in making the most of 2008 and enjoying Australia's economic prosperity while it lasts.  There are quite a few interesting things happening this year which should keep us all riveted to our seats.

I'm particularly looking forward to more episodes of my favourite elimination-style reality show, the US presidential election.  I can't wait to see who wins.  I hope it's that cool black dude, or maybe the blonde chick if she loosens up a little.

The new year's eve story in Australia was that London organisers (presumably lacking sufficient local talent) imported a French pyrotechnician and gave him a simple mandate -- to put on a show better than Sydney's.

I've heard that the event is pretty popular with viewers overseas, but I'm convinced that has more to do with our time zone than it does with the spectacle itself.

I wasn't overly impressed this year, but they were much bigger and better than Melbourne's display, which just wasn't concentrated or choreographed as well as Sydney's.

I will say though, that Melbourne puts on a very well organised show in a number of areas thoughout the city with plenty of entertainment and room for people to enjoy themselves, it's just a shame that this results in six or seven pockets of fireworks which are underwhelming overall.