Celebrity Crush - Part II: ‘like OMG’

This story is about a good friend of mine. We'll call him Ross (because that's his name).

Please bear with me while I set this up.

Ross is unquestionably Australia's biggest fan of the Idol franchise. Not only does he own all the merchandise, but he's moderated the Australian Idol forums and maintained a successful independent blog on the subject. He loves Idol so much he even loves the idols that aren't idols.

His Crush: Ricki-Lee Coulter

During the second season of Australian Idol back in 2004, Ross became enamoured with a sassy young Idol hopeful named Ricki-Lee Coulter. His interest in her was amplified when she was expelled from the show in a controversial elimination which left thousands of teenage girls SMSing their friends through a shroud of tears.

Ross, of course, was one of them. :)

Caught up in the injustice of it all, Ross joined a team to launch Ricki-Lee Forumswhich has since become her biggest semi-official fan-site. This caught the attention of her team, and soon Ricki-Lee was making regular appearances on the forum and inviting Ross and the forum folks backstage at her gigs.

While I would normally argue that contestants on Australian talent shows don’t really qualify as celebrities, Ricki-Lee has certainly made a real splash in the Aussie market. She's had substantial chart success as well as becoming a sought-after commodity for cross-promotional media and events. Her name and her music are featured more often than almost every other idol, including the winners.

Despite her music being targeted at a younger (typically female) audience, she's become an Aussie household name, and Ross has been there to bask in every minute of her increasing glow of popularity... albeit from the sidelines.

I've known Ross for a couple of years, and over that time I've endured witnessed his endless yet oddly charming gushing about all things Ricki-Lee. I've heard about how wonderful, talented, beautiful and funny she is, and I've taken my fair share of opportunities to make fun of him over it. By comparison, my celebrity crush (mentioned in Part I) barely qualifies as acknowledgement.

He's really bona fide no-kidding smitten, which makes the latest chapter of this story the monumental moment it is.

Who Cares?

I chose to make such a big deal about all of this not because of Ross or Ricki-Lee. This is a story about those once-in-a-lifetime moments you carry with you forever. It's a story about our secret desires and how bittersweet it can be to so thoroughly admire someone, but to know they'll never fully appreciate how you feel.

Most of the time they have no idea who we are, let alone how incredibly easy it would be to warm our souls with a tiny gesture. But what if they did know? What if they were close enough to brand us with a memory that we'd cherish forever in that little spot in the back of our minds that we never talk about with our spouses?

If your celebrity crush could do that, would they?

Ricki-Lee Would

She really would, and she's just so down to earth there's a chance she might not even realise it.

After a recent concert, Ricki-Lee and the gang were heading off to the after-party. Poor Ross takes his job seriously and he absolutely had to be bright-eyed in the morning, so being the idiot responsible person that he is, he declined to attend. He was apparently so adamant that "oh come on" just simply wasn't going to cut it.

Now this part of the story we call 'facepalming'. If someone tells you that their epic crush singer chick invited them to a concert after-party, and their response was "sorry, I have to work in the morning" how would you react?

• Step 1: Open palm.
• Step 2: Insert face.

So that's when Ricki-Lee goes all-in and decides to enhance Ross' masturbation fantasies for the rest of his life. She and her publicist Lauren get down on their knees and beg him to come to the after-party.

There's really not much one can say after that picture, which is why I've forced you to read it all prior. It's just indescribably awesome to have your unattainable celebrity crush engaging in a full-pout beg right there in living colour.

Now, of course it's just a whimsical good-humoured moment, and I'm sure she didn't give it deliberate thought at the time, but I think it's important to acknowledge how little things like this really do stack up on our list of life-experiences. With how completely gaga Ross is over Ricki-Lee, this is going to rate right up there with the best of them.

• Having sex with two (or three) women at the same time
• Pictures of my celebrity crush BEGGING me in public
• Birth of my child
• Seeing Earth from space

I couldn't believe it when he told me that even after all of that, he still chose to go home and masturbate furiously catch some sleep instead of hitting the party.

His poor decisions notwithstanding, I'd like to thank Ricki-Lee for giving lasting joy to my good friend, her biggest fan, and for giving a little hope to the rest of us who might have our own little celebrity crushes.